I need to take new photos with my dad…
Celebrating Mother’s Day seems to be quite intuitive for most people. Maybe because mothers are generally (and I’m making a big generalization here so humor me) more sentimental and sacrificial than fathers. I, however, am blessed with an amazing dad who is as loving as he is strong. He has made a lot of sacrifices over the years so my siblings and I could be where we are, today. My father is our rock – loving, affectionate and funny. He has been married to and in love with my mom FOREVER. He is my hero.
My father is an important part of my life. I want to make sure I express my love and gratitude to him every chance I get. This includes Father’s Day, of course. I know many of you share this sentiment but did you know that the way you demonstrate your love to your father could be missing the mark? No matter how hard you try to appreciate him through greeting cards, golf vacations and gifts, he may be longing for something else. In fact, a hug or a kind word could mean more to him than the most expensive gift you could afford. But how can you know for sure?
*5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman enters stage left.*
I read this book many years ago and it was an eyeopener. In his book, Chapman explains how we all have a dominant way in which we receive and show love and it is called a love language. There are 5 love languages and knowing your loved ones love language can set you up for success and avoid many misunderstandings in your relationships. Needless to say that this bit of knowledge rocked my world. It significantly improved my relationships from then on because the love languages apply to friendships and familial relationships as much as romantic ones.
Here are the 5 love languages explained:
Physical touch: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. People who have this love language long for lingering hugs, cuddles and kisses.
Words of affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people. For those who receive and express love this way, compliments, atta-boys, verbal acknowledgements and appreciation go a long way. The more detailed the better.
Acts of service: For these people, actions speak louder than words. They love to serve and be served. They are always willing to go the extra mile and appreciate when someone does something for them without them needing to ask.
Gifts: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. The size of the gift doesn’t necessarily matter. As long as you thought of them enough to use your money to buy them something, they’re happy.
Quality time: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. No phones, no TV just you and them talking and connecting is what they desire.
Do you know what love language is yours? More importantly, can you identify your dad’s? You may be able to tell based on the short descriptions above but if you want to be 100% sure, there is a test. Make it a fun activity and do it together with your father.
PS: Don’t stop at daddy, do your best to discover the love language of everyone who matters to you but note that most of us receive love differently than we give it! Because relationships are not already complicated enough! 😉
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